In the shadow of the steel mills
At the end of the Big War
Back in the days when dad and mom
Knew just what they were fighting for
He wasn't like the other boys
But he mostly didn't mind
Life would be a friend to him
If he just took his time.

(Chorus)
So what's the shortest distance
Between the starting gate and here?
He asked the friendly officer
And his answer came back clear.
"Do you believe in signs?" he said
"No?" he said. That's swell.
Then hang a left where it says "No Turns"
Hit the gas and drive like hell.

From the Pennsylvania Turnpike
Where you'll always have a friend
The cheese steaks taste like mother's milk
But they'll get you in the end.
He worked his way to Florida
Though the record will reveal
That he tried on a few different hats
Till he found one that was real.

(Repeat Chorus)